Getting back home - The Auto Driver

We stayed over an extra day in Bangalore and walked about around where we were staying, checked out some chicks from Stella Maris, ate some cheap and good chicken biryani, had a couple of espressos and generally lazed around. Here's a little fact for you: Bangalore has lots of traffic signs. Really. Lots.

Anyway, in the evening when we decided to leave for the station we caught an auto. Now this auto fellow wasn't normal, and he was driving without a headlight. Naturally, we chose to travel by his auto. R's mom had already told us that one particular road was blocked and so the autorickshaw-wallah was told, so he claimed the other route would be longer and he would have to charge us more, so we said fine. Then, he decides to take the shorter route after all, and has to turn right back when it turns out that the road was blocked after all. Meanwhile, Pipe strikes up a conversation in Hindi with the fellow, and since I can't speak Hindi, I listen. The conversation goes something like this: (I've made lots of changes because otherwise you have to brink the rest of the conversation in and I don't remember it all)

Pipe: Bhai, how come you don't have headlight?
Driver: Forgot to pay the electricity bill.
...
Driver: I want to meet Goundamani, Vadivel, Senthil, they're really funny. Them and... Jayalalitha.
Pipe: Ah, Jayalalitha, they say she has 400 pairs of shoes.
Driver: She uses them instead of clothes or what?
Pipe: They say she has lots of saris too.
Driver: She's so big, I bet they weld more than one together for her.
...
Driver: Before you, I had to transport a couple and then suddenly halfway through she started crying really hard. I wanted to ask her why she was crying but then she'd probably cry even more.
...
Pipe: Why do all the buses here have only Kannada names on the boards?
Driver: In TN, all the buses are in Tamil, it's just the same. [...something about English...]
Pipe: [...something else about English...]
Driver: There was this Nepali, when I took him to this place to which it would cost Rs. 49 my meter showed Rs. 53. He started complaining, he said, "You see, I see...". What is this UCIC? Some new bank or something?
Driver: He said he was going to file FIR with the police, I told him, "What FIR? Here, police? Go back to Nepal and file it.". He's probably a cook or a servant or something anyway. Finally he gave me Rs. 50, so I said, "The five rupees is a tip." Ha ha, I gave him a tip. Ha ha.

Crazy fellow, all that talk and he finally charged us Rs. 120 for the journey. Not too bad, I suppose. Ah well.