I’m lost and I want to go back
It’s like I’m somewhere else, things are different that shouldn’t be, people are different from what I know them to be, they all act different, talk different, move differently. It’s strange, because I feel like an outsider here, there’s something about everybody that seems to tell me they’re not who I once thought they were. It’s lonely here, and unfamiliar; I feel like one of those characters in story books and video games who get stuck in a world whose rules they’re not used to.
I can’t recognise my city any more. If I look at the streets or the shops real hard they do resemble what they were, but the people walking along are not from here and the voices and languages are not native. College is no different, it’s almost like it changes every time I glance in a different direction, it’s confusing and disorienting. It’s new, like I’ve been here the first time. I’ve walked all over the damn campus, fallen in the grass and learnt that it was the itchy kind, watched the ‘lake’ go from dry to wet to dry again, and it’s all different now. I haven’t been here before, this isn’t where I’m from.
I want to go home.
Posted by roshan.george under Confusion, Musings |
I didn’t know it was Emo Week.
Comment by Marc — December 11, 2007 @ 12:34 pm
You have no clue, man. No clue.
Comment by roshan.george — December 11, 2007 @ 9:57 pm
You could have told me that it was coming up.
Comment by Marc — December 11, 2007 @ 10:26 pm
I could have but you wouldn’t want to participate.
Dude, my shoutbox is talking to me. It’s sentient.
Comment by roshan.george — December 11, 2007 @ 10:37 pm
You’re right. You’re emo enough for this part of Tamilnadu.
It’s you on the shoutbox talking to yourself. Don’t think I’m fooled.
Comment by Marc — December 12, 2007 @ 8:13 pm
Very funny, Marc. The only person who reads my blog is you. Damn funny you think you are.
Comment by roshan.george — December 12, 2007 @ 8:24 pm
Well, emos and spammers are equally nutty. And the rest of the world.
But I actually kind of understand the feeling of being an outsider. Only that for me it’s India in general. I guess being an NRI does that to you… Hmm.
Comment by Isha — December 16, 2007 @ 1:40 pm
You know, we saw a couple of people at Deep Woods who would have qualified. Trademark long hair, no smile, that shambling walk.
Comment by roshan.george — December 16, 2007 @ 3:46 pm
Long hair is NOT EMO!!!!
Long hair is sexy.
Comment by Isha — December 16, 2007 @ 9:33 pm
Not along with the other traits.
Comment by roshan.george — December 16, 2007 @ 10:15 pm
Hair falling across face. Not just long.
Comment by Marc — December 16, 2007 @ 10:48 pm