Wiyoats – What. the. hell?

This post is about wiyoats, that simple word that means so much, that drips with so much meaning and yet hides so many layers of truth. Wiyoats was coined by Sundar as a way to make a pointless comment on a blog, but today, it is out of control, and has sundered itself from its master.

Each linguist who has come upon this word has thought it to have a different meaning, here’s some of the more common explanations:

Why Oats?

This was inevitable. Marc, the health-food freak and resident fitness and strength expert claims that this is the true meaning of wiyoats. He mentions that it could be said in a number of ways, accompanied by abstract words ranging from sad disbelief (why oats? they did nothing to anyone) to annoyance (Why oats?! I had oats for breakfast _yesterday_ *whine whine*) to discomfort (oats cause gas). Marc says that based on personal experience with Sundar he thinks one of these is much more likely than the others but is currently spending his time on making such ingenious anagrams of this paragraph as (oats cause gas? NO! Goat cause ass!) to amuse himself (he is easily amused by himself, and so is everyone else).

Wii Oats

Local hardware, computer games specialist and Nintendo fanboy, Chetan, claims that Sundar is actually a robot put out by Nintendo to promote its newest console, the Wii.
It’s easy to heat (try playing), easy to treat (badly), and now even easy to EAT!“, he exclaims with glee, following that up, “Just delicious!” and then collapsing in hysterical fits of laughter.

Wie Oats

Suren, well known Splothiki-acolyte and collector of fantasy fiction which is always “borrowed” by friends decided to go off on a tangent and suggest that female American golfers are a lead that few experts have followed. In his classic non-sequitur fashion, he claims that this explains the growth of ten-foot tall marijuana plants in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan of good quality.

Soya Wit

Urban myth, however, says that Wiyoats is just a polite way of saying “Soya wit” (an anagram meaning something that could have been funny, but is just stupid the way it’s written, coming from soya substitutes for meat). Considering that wiyoats has been forcing Sundar to summon it and many blogs, it would be highly destructive if people were to find out this true meaning.

References:

  1. Sundar claiming wiyoats’ superiority over Splothiki
  2. Google Report detailing affected areas
  3. Random Thought Processess: Orkutting and groundnutting

On blogs, hosts and downtime.

Typing in my blog address,
I thought I’d login to wordpress,
And maybe even write a post,
Of something I’d done, a little boast.

The browser said the host was down,
The owner said he was out of town,
My speech was stifled, my blog was gone,
And all because I didn’t backup the previous morn.

For all my posts, they were lost,
Forget the work, think of the cost.
Now I must begin to post again,
If this happens once more, I’ll go insane,
I’ve restored once, I’ve restored twice,
I swear to you it isn’t nice.

When you have lost so much,
You get a little out of touch,
And think of silly rhymes and lines,
And numbers, 1s and 2s and 69s.