George FilesThe truth, one post at a time

I'm lost and I want to go back

December 10, 2007 by roshan.george in Musings, Confusion

It's like I'm somewhere else, things are different that shouldn't be, people are different from what I know them to be, they all act different, talk different, move differently. It's strange, because I feel like an outsider here, there's something about everybody that seems to tell me they're not who I once thought they were. It's lonely here, and unfamiliar; I feel like one of those characters in story books and video games who get stuck in a world whose rules they're not used to.

I can't recognise my city any more. If I look at the streets or the shops real hard they do resemble what they were, but the people walking along are not from here and the voices and languages are not native. College is no different, it's almost like it changes every time I glance in a different direction, it's confusing and disorienting. It's new, like I've been here the first time. I've walked all over the damn campus, fallen in the grass and learnt that it was the itchy kind, watched the 'lake' go from dry to wet to dry again, and it's all different now. I haven't been here before, this isn't where I'm from.

I want to go home.

11 comments

MarcDecember 11, 2007

I didn't know it was Emo Week.

roshan.georgeDecember 11, 2007

You have no clue, man. No clue.

MarcDecember 11, 2007

You could have told me that it was coming up.

roshan.georgeDecember 11, 2007

I could have but you wouldn't want to participate.

Dude, my shoutbox is talking to me. It's sentient.

MarcDecember 12, 2007

You're right. You're emo enough for this part of Tamilnadu.

It's you on the shoutbox talking to yourself. Don't think I'm fooled.

roshan.georgeDecember 12, 2007

Very funny, Marc. The only person who reads my blog is you. Damn funny you think you are.

IshaDecember 16, 2007

Well, emos and spammers are equally nutty. And the rest of the world.

But I actually kind of understand the feeling of being an outsider. Only that for me it's India in general. I guess being an NRI does that to you... Hmm.

roshan.georgeDecember 16, 2007

You know, we saw a couple of people at Deep Woods who would have qualified. Trademark long hair, no smile, that shambling walk.

IshaDecember 16, 2007

Long hair is NOT EMO!!!!
Long hair is sexy.

roshan.georgeDecember 16, 2007

Not along with the other traits.

MarcDecember 16, 2007

Hair falling across face. Not just long.