Back in the good old days, I used to get thousands of spam comments per day, but before that I only had a regular flow of twenty or so. In those days I actually bothered reading through the moderation list and removing the spam which got through Akismet. Some of those messages had very interesting text. Here are a few I had saved as a draft a long while ago.
- Bangem smurf and domination: What were they thinking? Perhaps they too believed that the Smurfs were commies too?
- Male strippers in cincinnati: I don’t know why I put this here. It’s not even funny. I mean, anyone looking for that can get precisely that on Google Maps. They didn’t even need to advertise, especially on a blog in Madras, India.
- Prune juice for baby constipation: This is just twisted but I’ve got to admit that it’s got a use. Remember that annoying little kid at some relative’s place that kept biting you for no reason? Give him constipation, buy our prune juice.
- Professional clown shoes: Professional clown shoes, a growing market that some say may eventually force amateur clown shoes out. Horrifyingly, the link included with the text pointed to a site full of naked women without clown shoes!
- Really really want spice: Oh my god! It’s the Return Of The East India Company! Get Aamir Khan on the line, we need to make
- The walrus and the carpenter: were walking hand in hand. They wept like anything to see such quantities of spam. And the link seemed to imply that both the walrus and the carpenter needed
- Poop com in apartments pantie: This reads like some
Borattext. “Poop come in pantie, 4th best poop in apartment!” I wonder what they were advertising, I hear it’s something about a cup.